ACES

Thriving Adoptees: The Journey From Childhood Through Adulthood

Simon, a late discovery adoptee, found that his journey was only beginning even at forty years of age when he first touched the trauma of being adopted. His experience led him to want to share that in helping others with their journey of hidden trauma, and the hope of not just surviving but thriving by understanding and embracing their past, no matter how old they are. You may wonder about your child/ren and what lies beyond childhood. Simon has interviewed people who can help.

By David Durovy, ago
Speak of Love

Speak to Us of Love Oh Wise One?

Dumbfounded by even the idea of love, I find that not only is there no real definitive answer, there are it seems many answers that may seem to be correct in a particular moment. And many that are just plain wrong.

I have failed. And this may be excellent news. I may not tell anyone what love is, but I can help you think your way to it.

Having been jolted by my friend Eleanor’s question when she asked, “what is love? You are Mr. LoveMore, tell us.”

By David Durovy, ago
Brain needs help

Your Brain is Powerful But Needs Your Help

The overload can be prompted by any number of things, including an overly stressful day at work or a family emergency. People in poverty, however, have the added burden of ever-present stress, and often bracing themselves against class bias that adds extra strain or even trauma to their daily lives.

And the science is clear—when brain capacity is used up on these worries and fears, there simply isn’t as much bandwidth for other things.”

By David Durovy, ago
Practice Being Present

How to Develop a Loving Spirit

A foster parent said to me, “We took all the training; they told us what to do and how to do it.” Nothing could have prepared us for how difficult and challenging it would be.”

Dr. Karyn Purvis, the co-author of The Connected Child, and whose research, work, and love have served as a cutting-edge reference for how to love foster and adopted children, found that parents’ stress levels often exceed their own windows of tolerance.

By David Durovy, ago
Kids fighting

What to Do When You Just Can’t Love Your Child? Pt. 2—If You Can’t Beat ’em, Join ’em

We parents in our struggles often forget that once the principles are fully alive in us, the how-to and the what to do, take on a life of its own as it comes to us in an up-welling of inspiration.

These stories, your stories, are important because they show the principle of love in its intended environment—your home and your life. So break the mold of your outdated parenting patterns and try something new—and fun for a change.

By David Durovy, ago
Broken Heart

What To Do When You Just Can’t Love Your Child? Pt. 1

Many foster and adoptive parents naively think about their foster and adopted children and it was the reason we chose this path.

True enough.

The naivety here lies not in what the children need, but in what we parents can provide—the kind of love that they need.

Some say that love is not enough for raising challenging children—especially those with trauma histories. Thankfully, this statement is incorrect. Love is enough, and love can conquer love all when we truly know what love is.

By David Durovy, ago
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